Bathrooms

Bathrooms

I have wanted to ask a few questions and address an issue that has been bothering me for some time.

I have used many of bathrooms in my days, I am an animal, i have to... well not really but in efforts to stay out of jail its an easy compromise...

Anyways, what the hell with people in public restrooms?

Maybe its just the breed i work with but holy candied christ it confuses me.

1. The is the rule of the urinals in a mens restroom, the reason is, people are holding their penis and doing bad things. Those who try to get close to it scare those who dont want a man close to it. So for the women out there let me explain. There are 4 urinals side by side, if a man is at 1 try to use 4 as first priority, but 3 will do, 2 is a big no. the rules change of course if they are at 2 you use 4 standard, they at 3 you use 1, the basic thing is like a movie seat with a male friend 2 men do not sit next to each other, or piss next to each other unless they absolutley have to. Now the problem comes in where 2 men are already attacking 2 of 4, my advice, use a john to piss in, its surrounded with walls and somplifies the confusion of where to piss, but if you must, or are in more of a dont give a shit mood go in between but stare straight ahead and look pissed. Never look left to right, dont look at the person next to you, and kill your self before you would ever talk to the man holding his penis next to you.

This is where i have issues, from what i have known the rules of male urinals of straight men is pretty well known, so i ask to the following situation, do i just have intelligent freinds or am i all fuct up?

At work about 65% of the time, someone will talk to me, usually when this happens the person will refer to me as Macky.... This screws with me very much so seeing as Macky is a pet name for Mack. If you are a child fine, a old sweet woman fine, but a man who is working along side me and now holding your cock as i hold mine... I am very disturbed.... The other issue is the slap on the back or ass as you are pissing in a urinal.... How much rape with a rusty fork must be had for a man to not see this as being wrong?

2.Phone and using the toilet... There are a select few of people i will talk to whilst on the shitter jon. In this select few are all people i know well, and they would expect nothing less from me so i know it is okay. Girlfriend calls ok, i can dutch oven her so me going to duty while talking is no biggie. Top 5 close guy friends ok too, they have probably seen me eating dirt and vomiting on myself so this would be a much easier thing to deal with in general. But pastors, or a random new person seems wrong.

Where this is twisted and done wrong is my fellow co-workers with bluetooth that will piss or shit while talking to a customer. This bothers me, in some ways it would be like calling your mother to chat in the middle of sex as a level of wrong. For example, if i called to pay my comcast or garbage bill and some gal was on the other line shitting and farting up a storm i would be mad.

Am i being silly? Am i really too sensitive?

3. WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS!
i work with many people shitting and not washing and am very bothered by this, i am tempted to get spray paint and attakc the hell out of them when i catch them. In the mean time i find the biggest gossip and point out people who are non-washers so the news spreads. Really now, who still does this in a sober tie wearing environment?

4. Self love in a public stall... I heard what had to have been this the other day as i was 1 of 2 people in a bathroom. Me at a urinal and a person in a stall with the shuffle 1,2 sound of what had to have been hand sex.... This just seems wrong!

5. Back to the urinal topic, resting your arm on the weird side wall that gives you mild protection from pee pee peekers, who does this and what do the think it means?